I am sorry. I didn't know what going on me. I think jealousy took over me too much. Knowing i shouldn't behave like this, knowing so much that can't be helped but still i lost to jealousy. I lost myself cause i care too much.. Love is something where no one can control about still hope to be controlling it. Always thinking that i gain a winning lead, always thinking you will be mine somedays, but now negative thoughts keep coming. There is so many things, i sometime hoped that u can make up ur decision and ur answer is me. I know that is being selfish and some things are meant not to be forced but you should know why. Whenever i got a chance to go forward, i always pull myself back alot. There are alot of things happen currently and i started to feel that u and me seems like getting more and more far apart. This is definitely not what i wan to see or feel. Please do not start having the thoughts cause of u i getting miserable than wan to leave me. Please dun. Cause i really love you. I am not like ah boy, but i know recently i had been acting like one. I am sorry, if you feel that way juz let me know. I wun do anything but still i wan to know all the truth and know everything. I know you had been busy and you had no time and no mood to handle me too. Dun feel sry or what, i juz want to let u know one thing, i am not very great person that you once thought of, i do get jealous do get sad and do hope one day you will be mine. If now u had change your mind of me, juz tell me, dun hide from me. The actually reason why i had gotten so miserable is because you had now become too important to me. That why running thoughts always came to my mind and i started to fear. Dun worry, i will always wait for u till the day i really had no more chance. I really love you. Do remember to sms me your thoughts and what u feel after u read, good or bad i will accept it.

Hmm, nervous?? exicited?? clueless?? Haha! you know i seldom so serious one. u know i always wait one.. cause i dun like to force.. I always believe what u told me one, so hopefully that talk all too.. I had been sad, jealous and lost, that why i am not happy. There is so much things i know but i can't do anything cause i dun wish to force you. I know u are busy, stress and tired. Than i know u can't make up ur mind especially when so much things keep happening over and over again.. I can't hide my feeling any more.. I really like you very very much. Sorry that not able to make you happy out of the fullest, u should know when i dun feel well from the drinking, sad of jealousy and lost, how much happiness can i fully show? I can't hide some feeling expression one, same goes to u in times.. I know something is not right but u dun wan to let me know.. I really rather u tell me than to hide it. I had always been waiting and always been hoping that u give me the answer. This time round, i am sorry, i had choosen to go after you le.. The things that u say will make me leave you, still the only things is your ex and maybe little busy lifestyle.. I dun wan to wait till you forget your ex le.. Juz like my friend say, you will never forget if u didn't choose to have a new one.. I know i am serious over you, that why i had choosen to chase you. I will make you leave him, i will make you give up on him. Cause i want you, i wan you to completely have me only. Love is selfish. i am devil, that why i choose to be selfish.. Hahaha! No la, i am not really devil, i am juz me.. I am stealing you from everyone else, the only thing that will change this thinking is only if u do not like me or had choosen ur ex over me. Than i will not force you to like me and will eventually try not to approach you. Even if this day come (i dun hope it come), i will still be your best friend whenever u need me. So do let me know everything or anything, dun worry if u trouble hurt or affect me, cause i am the one wanted you to do so. Things which i am not confirm, Are you willing to give me a chance and forget him? Am i the one you really want?(i wish it is) There is still alot to come when we are together, still i do wan to give it a try. I know all this require alot of time but if u never consider and stuck like what u are now, u never will settle anything. I am ready to face any answer you give me, so dun worry and juz tell me honestly. smile.. Touch are u very touch? i do hope u are.. If u are touch, dun cry, cause later ur house flood than not so good liao.. Jking..

As i promise, i did post it today and on this blog.. My heart is so messy.. There is so many things i wanted to find out.. There is so many things i didn't dare to ask. To me now, the truth is i do like you. Like we said, the abc.. You are correct. so obvious ma! Who else could it be? Still than i fear my feeling is a crush toward you but than isn't relationship start from a crush? hmm... Than till now i still dun dare to tell you directly cause of many factors. 1stly from my understanding, your parents are educated and confirm they wish that thier daughter bf should be someone clever and someone who can take care of her. 2ndly i am now a nobody and unsure if i can make it in the society. I think too much liao hor? haha! i always think too much. Anyway those are my feeling which usually are right! let me know if it is wrong ok? Than i do wan to know how u feel about me too ma.. Btw you are the first person i so honestly tell all my feeling, i always hide my feeling from others but dun know why not to you.

Please do not avoid me or ignore me after knowing the truth. Remember you are mine angel and i do wish to have an angel with me at all times. Reply me asap through sms ok? i will be waiting..